/Mm/ is for Memories

I was talking to my youngest son on the phone the other day, and at the end of the conversation he said, ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, Ma, but one day soon I need to ask you and Dad some questions about your lives before you both get too long in the tooth.’ WHAT? Hey, no need to write my eulogy just yet, thanks!

But it got me thinking about how I would be remembered, and how I want to be remembered. Often the way we perceive ourselves is not how our loved ones and friends see us. Hopefully, they don’t remember the not so good traits! I guess at the end of the day, I hope they think I was a kind person, and I hope they know, and remember, they were very loved.

I was looking through old photographs the other day with a couple of my grandsons. They thought it was hilarious seeing their dad and uncles so young, and it certainly brought back a flood of happy memories. I know storing photos can be such a pain, but I did lament that we just don’t have hard copy photos any more, apart from the few ‘professional’ shots that we are gifted from year to year. Everything is on our phones. I used to print out the good ones, but it all gets a bit time consuming, especially when you can’t find them because they’re sitting in some cloud.

With my grandchildren, I try to do things that will hopefully create memories for them. I’m not fond of Halloween, but the kids all seem to do it, at least in a very ‘controlled’ way. So I’ve given in, and for the past few years I get them baby pumpkins and we make little Jack ‘O’ Lanterns. I put a battery tea light inside and the kids absolutely love them, keeping them in their bedrooms until they go limp and start to shrivel. At Christmas time we always bake gingerbread and at Easter we make chocolate Easter eggs. Perhaps they’ll remember some of these things and even do them with their own children.

On each of their birthdays I write them a letter, summing up the year that was. I want it to serve as a reminder of the times we spent together and hopefully they’ll understand just how much they were loved and how much they meant to me. I keep these letters in a folder – one for each grandchild. I’m guessing their parents will give them to them after I’ve gone, when they feel it’s appropriate. I hope that doesn’t sound morbid! And I hope I get to write lots and lots more letters too!

Life goes by so quickly, and yes, like most people, it’s had its ups and downs and will no doubt continue to do so. But when I reflect on my life, I remember the good and I know there is much to be grateful for.

So, I’m looking forward to this conversation with son number three. I’m not sure if my memory of the questions he’s going to ask will be perfectly accurate, as I’m sure time distorts them, but I think it’s nice that he cares enough to want to know. And just for the record, I plan to stick around a lot longer to make many, many more memories!